Why It Feels Like Life Gets Away From Us And What To Do About It

Have you ever felt that as you get older, it seems like the years get shorter? People often say that life is short, but I think a lot of that is based on how we perceive the passage of time. You’re probably familiar with the concept of time flying when you’re having fun, but why does it seem like it gets faster even when you’re not? For some it might feel like one week you’re in your 20s and the next thing you know you’re 40. What happened!? In this week’s blog, let’s look at some ideas about why time might seem to speed up and how to make your own time feel a little better spent.

One argument I’ve heard about why time seems to speed up as we age is as we accumulate years of life experience, each year as a proportion of that experienced time period is less. To put it another way, when you’re a kid it seems that a year lasts a really long time because compared to how long you’ve lived, it actually is. For a 5-year-old, a year is 1/5 of their entire life. But for an 80-year-old, a year is only 1/80 of their life. So, it’s thought that because of the experience you’ve gained with perceiving time as you age, in comparison a year doesn’t seem like all that long – especially when you begin to compare things that happened one year ago to things that happened 10, 20, or 50+ years ago. This depth of experienced time makes it seem like each year you are perceiving is just a drop in the bucket compared to what has come before.

Still, maybe that’s a little too intangible (or math isn’t your thing). So let’s take a look at another idea – one that I think might be a little more relevant. Another idea about why time seems to speed up is because you’ve gotten used to how life works. You go to work, you check the mail, you watch TV, you make dinner. You do all these same things every day as an adult and have probably gotten pretty used to it. But, in contrast, when you are young these things are more likely to constitute new experiences.

As a kid, there’s tons of new things to see and do. Even everyday things like walking around town or going to an appointment can be new and exciting. And because children don’t have prior experience with these things, they’re often in a position to feel something novel. This experience building is what is thought to help slow down time and build notable memories as you actively need to engage with what is happening around you. However, when the novelty wears off and we are stuck in a routine, we can sometimes be deprived of opportunities for new experiences (especially as we get older and have done more). That’s why if you do the same thing every day, it can sometimes feel like time is getting away from you. But, on the reverse of that, this might be why vacations and time off can often stick out as notable times of our lives because we are surrounding ourselves with things that are new and unfamiliar to us, and, as such, can feel like each day is full and memorable as we actively engage with and pay attention to the things around us.

To maybe further illustrate how lack of novelty fails to stand out, many of us might feel like we are unable to really process the Covid years (when there might have been lockdowns or pared down social schedules) and may have trouble placing them in time or are left feeling like they didn’t happen. This kind of difficulty might arise from the repetitive routines that many of us established as we were stuck at home. We didn’t really get to go out and experience new things as much. Sure, some of us took up new hobbies which probably helped to preserve our sanity, but for many of us, this time really didn’t leave any sort of impression on us and now we find ourselves feeling like we were inexplicably fast-forwarded into the future. Without new experiences to leave signposts to orient us, that time just sort of unknowingly passed us by.

But, as we’ve seen, novel variety can help to prevent that and can make one feel they are leading a fuller life. In order to spice things up, many of us might think of traveling or doing extreme sports, but in reality you can do this in your own communities. Trying new restaurants and foods, learning new skills through community classes or Youtube videos, or even taking a different turn in a walk, can all help to expose you to new experiences (See our Never Stop Learning Blog for more on this topic). These can help to fill your days with novel and sometimes exciting experiences and may lead to new opportunities that you might have never considered. Just around the corner might be a school for a new hobby or a new video might expose you to a new idea. You don’t even have to spend money to start trying to add variety and fun into your life. 

These same ideas even work together with other personal development ideas. Achieving your goals is fun, memorable, and meaningful because you are constantly exposing yourself to new skills, new challenges, and new experiences. So, while it can be argued that we are only perceiving time more slowly when we engage in these activities, if we keep it up and engage with novel situations routinely, we end up truly leading fuller lives anyway. So, with each passing day of trying something new, you’ll learn, grow, and get to see more of the world and your surroundings. Take time to try something new.