90% Finished

“Stand back, this last mile is the hardest part of the race for them!”

I would have smiled if I wasn’t so tired. “Hardest part” seemed like the perfect encapsulation of how that effort was feeling. I was running as hard as I could to just try to keep my pace. The last mile. I was running a 5K and was trying to come away with a new personal best time. Unfortunately, as I was learning, doing your best doesn’t always make you feel the best in those moments of exertion. So, I was gasping, I was sweating, I was shaking, just trying to shamble on and keep it all together when I heard that timely quip.

I’ve been thinking about that last mile a lot lately. That dragging feeling just seems so apt in describing a lot of my efforts. For me, when I work on goals or projects it can often feel like I crash into the wall right at the end – right when I see the finish line. For me, it really does feel like the hardest part. That last 10%. It’s like being on a roller coaster and going up that first huge hill. You use all this effort to climb and climb and right when you reach the top, right when you expect the drop and are the most anxious, just when you can see it’s all downhill from here, you stop.

I’m not here to say that I know why this happens. And I’m not sure that a lot of people even share these sentiments, but it just seems that lately I’ve had several projects that are stuck at this point. And the anticipation and the regret of not being able to take those last few steps can be very draining. Your mind hates unfinished things (have you ever had your favorite TV show canceled unexpectedly?) and when you’re stuck right at the end that feeling just seems to grow worse. You fixate and you worry, and you start to feel like you’ll never finish – like you never even should have wasted your time in starting. So what’s the deal?

I was talking with Sam earlier and he suggested that maybe it feels so hard because that last 10% is where it all comes together. It’s where the real magic happens. It’s where all the lessons you’ve learned, all the deliverables you’ve assembled, the teams you’ve created, the ideas, the drive, the passion, and the effort come in. It’s where all the brilliant work you’ve already done takes that last step to perfection. And it’s not always fun to get there.

For me, that last 10% feels like the more serious side of work. It’s no longer the fun, free-wheeling idea phase, it’s not the step-by-step growth phase, it’s the performative phase. It’s where your actions up to this point lead to the results. And that’s a difficult place to be. Because it all comes down to you it can feel like a very alienating phase too. It can feel like you alone are the champion of your own results and it’s down to your drive and your passion to see it through. Especially since for big things with big efforts you’ll probably be tired, you’ve done 90% of the work, you’ve already run 90% of the race. Maybe even a big, life-changing race – the kind of race you’ve taken your whole life to train for and run.

That last 10% is hard. You’re sweating. You’re shaking. You’re gasping for breath. It’s down to how bad you want it. But you’ve done 90%. Why quit now?

P.S. I didn’t make my PR during that race because it turns out my last 10% was made even more difficult by race day jitters and some nesting geese. You’d think being chased by angry waterfowl would have made me run even faster but I guess I probably spent too much time running in circles than in going towards the goal. I think it speaks true to life that sometimes life gives you a curveball or an unexpected (feathered) obstacle. Still, I managed to finish that race and was more determined than ever to get my PR because I was so dang close. Not long after I did.